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Not all of us have our lives sorted. And when we scroll through Instagram, there’s always that one post that stops us scrolling for a while.
Often, it feels like other people are all getting married, traveling the world, and building their businesses, while you’re still figuring out what to do with your life.
This never-ending social comparison and societal pressure gradually destroy your confidence, burying your once-clear purpose and what you consider your core values deeper into the abyss. Digital platforms have connected us all, but in the midst of it all, we’re feeling lonelier than ever.
You must understand that the only one losing in the comparison game is you. Life is not the same for everyone. We each have our own calling, and you need to find yours, instead of fighting that lonely comparison battle.
Steps to Finding Your Purpose
1. Think about what you loved in Your Teens.
The phase between childhood and adulthood is what transforms you into your current self. It’s also the phase where you get influenced by the world and its expectations of you.
Close your eyes, go back to your teen days, and think about what you once loved and aspired to be. You may have loved to draw, or make buildings, or act, and yet, you dropped it somewhere along the way just because society told you it wasn’t practical.
Ask your younger self: What did you love before the world told you what to love? Because that kid may not have had a clear purpose, but their passions can give you insights about your true interests.
2. Explore and Experiment
If your younger passions don’t give you any solid clues, start trying new things. You can take short courses on trendy subjects, or volunteer, attend seminars, or do anything else that interests you. Then, see where things lead you. When you love something, you’ll naturally want to do it more often.
Now that you have more of a clue about what you love to do, it's time to try it out and see how actually doing it can change your life.
3. Figure Out What Struggle You’re Willing To Put Up With
Once you’ve found something you love, it’s time to think about whether you’re willing to do it for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, life is not always fairy tales and rainbows. In reality, we have to be prepared to sacrifice a little.
Everything is going to suck eventually, even things you loved. So, stop thinking, ‘what’s my passion?’ That’s something you can easily romanticize from the couch.
Instead, think, what is the one thing you’re willing to keep doing? What could you grind away at for years, even when it’s frustrating and hard to keep up with? Your purpose lies in the grind version of the thing, not the dream version. Pick the struggle that feels like you.
4. Run Straight Towards The Thing That’s Scaring You
Strangely, it’s natural for many of us to actively avoid something we care about deeply.
Maybe you love the idea of saving lives and have been looking up nursing job requirements in the middle of the night, but keep thinking that it’s not for you. Maybe you've had a business idea for the last 3 years, and you’re still sitting on it because it’s risky.
The resistance you’re feeling may not be a stop sign. Often, it’s a clear signal: if you’re constantly drawn towards something, stop running from it, and start there.
5. Understand Your Values
There are those moments in life when it seems impossible to keep going. When everything seems like a blur, and you keep drifting away with the flow. In such moments, your values take you back to the direction you were meant to go.
Your values should not be the values you think you should embody, but your true feelings, the authentic core values that bring out your best self.
Some of these values might include, for example:
● Freedom
● Creativity
● Growth
● Connection
● Inner peace
● Stability
For clarity, write down the top five most important values in your life. Think of this as a GPS, a navigation system for your life.
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We often misinterpret the term ‘finding the purpose of life’. But it doesn’t necessarily mean we must find the one thing we’re called to do. Our values, our callings, can change at various stages of our lives.
In the end, finding our purpose is a long-term goal, something many of us need to work on over the course of our lives.
