A simple “Good job!” holds much power, especially for kids. How does praise influence emotional development? Is it possible to underpraise or overpraise? Explore the effects of praise on children’s emotional growth, its potential manifestations in adulthood and strategies for providing effective praise.
3 Types of Praise
Different types of praise suggest various messages. Discover the three common types of praise.
Person Praise
Remarks like “You have such a beautiful voice!” and “You’re a genius!” are person-oriented praises. These compliments imply that success is due to a child’s skills or talents. While it can trigger happy emotions, too much can potentially harm long-term emotional development. It may promote a fixed mindset, where people believe their success is based on inherent traits, not efforts or learning.
Process Praise
Process-oriented praise conveys that you value the person’s effort. When you tell people they “worked hard to finish this project,” you use process praise. Even a simple “good work” falls under this category.
Praising effort can motivate a child to keep up the good work and encourage them to try harder in the future. Some children — especially those with low self-esteem — need to process praise to recognize that trying is valuable in its own right. This type is more encouraged than person-oriented praise because it promotes a willingness to try new things.
Outcome Praise
This praise focuses on the results or achievements of a person’s efforts. Examples include “Congratulations on scoring the highest on the test!” or “You made a nice painting.” The remarks highlight specific outcomes — getting the highest score and producing beautiful artwork — without acknowledging the effort that led to that success.
How the Right Amount of Praise Affects Emotional Growth
Praise can have powerful effects on a child’s emotional growth.
Promotes Growth Mindset
Healthy process-oriented praises can help cultivate a growth mindset, promoting continuous learning and perseverance. A child with a growth mindset is more likely to believe that setbacks, hard work and determination are essential for mastery. A study found that high school students with a growth mindset reported feeling better about their learning.
More research found that a balance between process and personal praise predicts higher gross motor persistence and mastery pleasure among preschool students. It also showed that students exhibited the highest levels of motivation and persistence when there were slightly more process praises than person-oriented compliments.
Supports Positive Self-Image
Praising a child’s progress and attitude can help build self-esteem. Receiving acclaim for their abilities and accomplishments helps them recognize their strengths. Once their efforts pay off, they’re more likely to work hard to achieve more goals.
Encourages Resilience
Emotionally mature individuals are resilient — they know how to recognize, express and manage emotions. The right balance of process- and person-oriented praise can help children feel optimistic after making mistakes. A resilient kid grows into an individual who can bounce back and improve with each attempt.
Is Too Much Praise a Bad Thing?
Spoiling kids with praise can be counterproductive, even for a well-mannered child. Excessive positive reinforcement can lead to several issues.
People-Pleasing Tendencies
Children who receive praise for being obedient or helpful may learn that pleasing others is good behavior. However, people-pleasing can have negative effects over time. As a result, kids might grow into adults who measure their self-worth based on others’ approval.
Inflated Sense of Self
Excessive praise may trigger feelings of entitlement. Kids may expect life to be easy, leaving them unprepared for its challenges. Moreover, they may feel superior to others or believe they’re entitled to privileges.
Constant Pursuit of Adult Approval
Praise is like caffeine. It can give you a good boost, but the more you consume it, the more you want it. Like caffeine, the more kids accept praise, the more they’ll rely on it to feel confident. Constant praise may make children unconsciously feel they need to do things for adult approval, leading to an unhealthy sense of identity.
The Consequences of a Lack of Praise
Lack of recognition can hinder emotional development. Kids may struggle with the following issues without the right amount of praise.
Low Self-Esteem
Kids and adults who don’t receive compliments may struggle with their self-worth. They might feel they can’t succeed and think not receiving praise means they aren’t good enough.
Heightened Sensitivity to Criticism
People who receive little praise may internalize negative messages about themselves. When faced with criticism, they are more likely to embrace it as truth, reinforcing their negative self-image. This can cultivate a fragile sense of worth over time.
Difficulty Accepting Compliments
When they do not receive recognition as children, some adults may struggle to celebrate their achievements. They may downplay their wins or feel guilty about acknowledging them because they are unfamiliar with receiving praise.
Types of Praise to Avoid
Some praise can do more harm than good:
Obligatory praise: Praise should not be given out of obligation. Recognition must be earned and meaningful.
Social-comparison praise: Commending children for outperforming their friends can pressure them. Even worse, they could avoid new challenges to minimize failure.
Sarcastic praise: Imagine someone sarcastically saying, “Wow, you outdid yourself this time.” This statement appears to be positive, but it often leaves the recipient feeling belittled.
Strategies for Effective Praise
These principles can promote a healthy approach to praising children. Share them with your clients or teach them to parents to help cultivate emotionally healthy individuals for the future.
Provide Feedback to Foster a Growth Mindset
Meaningful feedback should be clear and straightforward. It should state what was done well and opportunities for improvement. It should also normalize learning struggles and highlight that learning should feel challenging.
Use Affirmations
Introduce affirmations to avoid overreliance on external validation. These positive statements can help kids build resilience and foster a strong sense of self, which can help counter people-pleasing tendencies. Some examples include:
I learn quickly.
I have many talents.
I believe in myself.
I will do wonderful things.
I have unique thoughts and ideas.
Refrain From Overpraising
Frequent praise may cultivate a long-term sense of insecurity and an addiction to praise. While it’s OK to recognize good work, adults should be careful not to go overboard, particularly with older children. Instead, they can offer realistic encouragement, like acknowledging their efforts or improvement.
Avoid Praise for Intelligence
While praise for intelligence can motivate kids, it can backfire in difficult moments. A setback can threaten their sense of self-worth. Instead of using person-focused praise, adults can focus on commending their efforts. For instance, instead of saying, “You’re so smart for topping the class,” they could say something like, “You worked really hard to top the class, and your effort has paid off.”
Praise Wisely
Positive reinforcements are essential for emotional health and personal growth. Finding the right balance of praise is key. By focusing on progress, effort and meaningful feedback, you can guide individuals toward a healthy sense of self-worth.
Author Bio
Jack Shaw is a senior writer and editor at Modded, where he passionately explores the intricate connections between physical health, mental well-being, and the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. With a keen eye for detail and a knack for crafting engaging content, Jack’s articles offer valuable insights into living a balanced and fulfilling life.
